On a recent trip to L.A. we met up with our good friend and special FX genius Brian Emerson. Upon his recommendation, we decided to spend the day at The Museum of Jurassic Technology. Now, if you're anything like me, you're probably asking yourself "WTF does that mean?" After all, how much technology was there during a period of time that ended 150 million years ago, and why the hell would anyone want to go look at it? I tried to ask Brian these questions and he replied that it is better that he not attempt to explain it and instead let the museum speak for itself. After vising the museum I must admit that I still have no idea what the hell Jurassic Techology means, but would instead describe the museum as the most amazing collection of arcane and esoteric curiosities I've ever seen.

The first room that caught my eye contained a collection of micromosaics created by micrologist Henry Dalton in the 1800s. The miniscule works of art are viewed through a microcope and were created with a boar's bristle used to manipulate scales taken from butterfly wings while breathing through a tube. Unbelievable.


We then proceeded to a room dedicated to pre-scientific home remedies. The museum describes these as 'vulgar remedies', which is a gross understatement. Take, for example, the lovely display pictured here, under which a caption describes that mice on toast can be eaten to prevent bed-wetting. I'm not sure exactly what mice baked in a pie is used for, but would imagine that it's quite effective at inducing vomiting.


One display instructed that after losing a tooth, one must salt the tooth and bury it or else spend the afterlife searching through a pail of blood for the tooth. One exhibit warned that beating your child with an elderstick will stunt his or her growth. Another suggested sharing a bowl of milk with a dog to rid yourself of fever.


My favorite exhibit was a collection of microminiatures created by Hagop Sandaldjian. Pictured here is an honest to god (no pun intended) microscopic pope nestled comfortably in the eye of a fucking needle! Just look at his wee crucifix!


The microminiatures were so small and so fragile that a sneeze could destroy a piece of work entirely. Imagine trying to find this sucker in shag carpet. Hagop had to be so precise that he ultimately learned to apply his brushstrokes in between heartbeats. When Mr. Sandaldjian immigrated to the U.S. in 1980, he set out to be a violinist, but was so disheartened by his ability to find work that he decided to support himself and his family by creating tiny little statues instead. I find this to be a very amusing and telling commentary about the music business.


There is too much to see at The Museum of Jurassic Technology in one day. Other noteworthy parts of the museum include gorgeous 3-D X-ray photographs of flowers, a collection of failing dice, an entire room devoted to trailer park culture, and a library containing all things Napoleon (of course, who else?). Upstairs you will find a small theater, a display of different cat's cradles, and a very nice tearoom where you can discuss all of the weird shit you have seen with your friends. I found the Museum to be so incredibly fascinating that I can't imagine going back to L.A. without stopping in for a visit. After the museum we stopped for an In-and-out burger and watched The Princess and The Frog, which was delightful. Then we caught a Greyhound back to Tucson which will forever remain one of the most excruciating experiences of my life.

Cheers,
T.R.